Tuesday, November 29, 2011

22 Week Stats

Baby Kwon started kicking around 19 weeks and I felt the kicks very clearly. But now when I don't feel it move for a while I start to get all paranoid and try to stimulate it by singing lullabies (or drinking some OJ). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's probably just like "Can I get some peace and quiet down here?!"

My belly just recently "popped" and it's very noticeable that I'm preggers now. I guess it's time to run over to Forever 21 to buy a bigger pair of $7.50 jeggings. So cheap! :D My belly button is making a slow disappearing act on my stomach and I assume that it will soon become an "outie." Dave laughs every time I show him my belly button cause it just looks so ridiculous. And I can't stick my finger in it anymore.

I gained about 13 pounds so far, which brings me up to 107 pounds!! My OB said she estimates I will gain about another 20 lbs by the end of my pregnancy. Holy cow. That means I will be 30-35 pounds bigger than what I started off at. Joo-yuh...

My hair is still falling out, which I don't get. Everyone said I should have really nice thick hair which doesn't fall out no matter what. Actually, I read somewhere that you're growing a surplus of hair right now that will shed some time later after you give birth (I hear you lose a LOT of hair). That makes me really worried cause if I'm losing hair now when I'm not supposed to be, I will probably be bald after the baby comes. I should start looking into wigs right now, sigh. Anyone want to donate their hair to me?

Some people have pointed out that my chest area is getting bigger (no less at church!). Yes, thanks for noticing AND pointing it out. Hahah.

Baby is turning into a little chub-a-lub inside. In fact, the doctor weighed it in at 12 ounces at 20 weeks although the books all say it should be around 10 ounces. I bet it's over a pound now. Errr... I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to be delivering a 10-pounder O_O

The 20 week anatomy scan was sooo super cool. The technician was able to find all the organs and show us on screen, even the tiniest ones like its kidneys! (except of course the genitals cause we wanted to keep it a surprise!). Dave asked him if the brain seemed to look a little small. Umm... why are you so worried Dave? Don't worry, I think you're smart. S-M-R-T.

Can't believe Thanksgiving has already come and gone. Splitting time between two families was pretty hectic this year. But it was satisfying for Baby Kwon since I fed it an insane amount of food (hence why my stomach popped overnight). It should technically be more chaotic next year when the baby comes but I've already decided that we're going to escape to Georgia so we can avoid the family craziness up here! :P

Dudes, I'm sooo ready for Christmas.... and the gender reveal!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Ohhhhh..... we're half way there

I'm almost 20 weeks now and I can feel definitive moves from the baby. He/she loves kicking around... especially when I'm trying to go to sleep. Wow, showing defiance so early!

I love hearing people's gender guesses. My OB didn't give me a guess so I really have nothing to go by. We can potentially find out this Thursday but Dave and I decided to find out a little later on to make it more of a "surprise." I know this will drive some of our friends crazy (ahem Bori, Stony, Susan Bang, amongst others) but just look at it this way— at least I'm not making you wait until I give birth. Hahaha. Not that I could wait that long myself.

It's been interesting to measure myself up against all the gender myths out there to see where I stand. I think it calls for a whole separate blog post though since there are so many old wives tales out there. And sometimes when I think about it too much it gets so confusing and starts to drive me mad.

We are going to (finally) get a new car this month. We are eyeing the Nissan Rogue at this point but my parents keep insisting that we get the Nissan Murano, which is 'bigger and better' they say. I don't know how they would even know since they drive an Acura TL and my dad has never been behind the wheels of an SUV before. Korean parents will always be Korean parents. Sigh.

My mom and dad are pretty awesome though despite their pushy ways. They come over with ten bags of groceries from HMart and put half the food in the fridge and use the other half to make galbijjim and other delicious meals to eat later on. I don't know if they spoil me cause I'm a girl and I'm the one who's pregnant. Actually, they spoil Dave too. What am I talking about. Which makes me wonder if I'll be the same way with my kids when I get older. I asked my sister what she thought and she rolled her eyes first and answered with a resounding "duh!"

Monday, October 31, 2011

"Mean Mommy"

I start 18 weeks this week, but I won’t forget about how hormonally imbalanced I was during week 17. Holy cowsers. My hormones were out.of.control. I’ve never been so angry and upset before about anything and everything. And poor Dave of course had to experience the crazy psycho pregnant me for the past week (it’s okay we made up). Seriously, everything would bother me. Silly things would make me sad. And I couldn’t control my emotions at all. Mike Yi once said you could tell if a pregnant woman is having a girl or boy by how hormonal she gets during pregnancy. Meaning that if she’s carrying a boy, he’s producing testosterone so she’s more inclined to be crazy. (Not sure how accurate this is but according to his observation, women like Jeannie got “softer” during pregnancy. And guess what? She had two girls.)

So anyway, I was reading the What to Expect book that’s on my kitchen counter and I like to go through it every week just so I know what’s going on with the little guy (or girl) inside. The book mentioned that the baby has developed facial muscles and could actually make different facial expressions now. Great. So for the past few days, I keep imagining that while the baby was hearing his crazy mom screaming, he/she would make these painful grimaces with his face or frown cause all he hears is LOUD noises coming from up there. (Then I picture the baby shaking its fist going “Mean Mommy!”) 0_0

Sometimes I forget that there's a living being inside of me that could hear everything. Yikes. Maybe I should learn to tone it down a bit. Sorry, baby....

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I've turned into the biggest cry baby

Last night I was in deep sleep dreaming about being back in middle school. I saw familiar faces and we were eating together and engaged in conversation just like the old days. In fact, I was dating a guy that I was with back then, too. (So strange.) But this guy and I had gotten into a fight and he refused to come to the restaurant where my friends and I were at. I tried calling him, pleading with him, but all he wanted to do was stay home and play video games (typical guy).

I don’t remember what made me so sad but I remember in my dream realizing that this guy did not love me. Not because he wouldn’t eat with me, but I knew deep inside that he did not feel for me the way I felt for him—and that made me utterly sad.

I woke up from my dream around 4:45am and just stared at the ceiling, still feeling a twinge of hurt… when I realized someone next to me was snoring (LOUD). I turned my head to the left and was SO shocked to see Dave lying next to me that when I realized it was all a dream, I started to bawl… for like 30 minutes. (Oh, and I totally didn’t remember that I had a baby either.)

Call me crazy…. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or if I was just really relieved to see Dave next to me, or if I thought I’d be chasing after the wrong guy all my life but all I know is that the heartfelt pain was pretty real. But then again, it doesn’t take a lot for me to be sad these days.

When I read a news article about a baby with Tay Sachs disease that won’t make it past his second birthday or I read horror stories about how our grandmothers and mothers gave birth back in the day (let's just say I am so fortunate to be born during the era of the epidural), or I see a video about the woman who decided to forgo chemotherapy in order to save her baby’s life, I am ridden with such sadness that I find myself crying. Even when I hear a song on the radio with a sad melody or lyrics that are gut-wrenchingly painful, I get a little choked up. I haven’t cried during any commercials though—as is the common stereotype of pregnant women—probably due to the fact that someone in our house (hint: the snoring sleeper to my left) does a fast-forward through all the commercials cause he’s too impatient to sit through them.

Man, this would be the worst time for me to start watching Korean dramas. Can you imagine....??

Monday, October 17, 2011

Were we trying....?

The simplest way to answer this question is: no (Dave) and yes (me). We were thinking of trying later in the year in hopes that by the end of 2013 or the beginning of 2014 we would have a baby. Now, I don't know all the biophysical mechanics of how a baby is produced besides the obvious (man and woman do the deed), but what I do know that certain things have to match up to form an embryo.

I've shared this with some people but I've always felt that I would have a difficult time conceiving. I know it's a very irrational thought, but it's mostly because my period is so irregular and I never have any idea when I'm ovulating (TMI). And I’ve had people actually say things to me in the past like “It would be so tragic if you—the baby lover—couldn’t have kids.” So put all that inside my head and it’s a recipe for hyped up paranoia + anxiety.

Hence, thinking that it would take me several months to figure out my ovulation cycle and rhythm, I decided to take it upon myself to start "trying" sooner than later—just in case. Oh, and on a side note, I was secretly hoping to have a baby next spring since I was dreading being pregnant during the hot summer months. Not that I thought it would happen that quickly, but if it were up to me, I was thinking that it would be ideal to have a baby some time in April or May, when it’s not too cold and not too hot.

Lo and behold, the first month we threw caution out the window and went without contraceptives, we got pregnant (TMI?). I don’t know if it’s Dave’s super sperm or what, but it is kind of unbelievable how fast it happened. Funny thing is, I would always convince Dave afterwards by saying "trust me, we didn't just make a baby... it doesn’t just happen like that you know…" Somewhere inside, my ovaries are probably laughing at me.

But that is the truth. There’s a mystery behind conception that is so unexplainable and though this pregnancy was certainly unexpected, it is definitely such a blessing. : )

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Something borrowed...

It's funny. I kind of expected myself to go all out for our first baby and register for a gazillion stuff. I mean, don't get me wrong. I started a baby registry online when I was only seven weeks pregnant (and that's how Candice found out I was pregnant- she was doing a search for "David Kwon" the golfer and landed on our gift registry. How... embarassing). But I find myself actually wanting to buy/register for as few things as possible and just ask to borrow stuff when available. I think working in the parenting industry has made me realize how marketable baby stuff is- even though some things you literally use for only a month or two. I need to sit down and come up with a list of "what not to buy when pregnant" so I can help other new moms beat the system. Ha.

And of course I will be more than happy to continue the stream of lending stuff out when my baby retires from using whatever it is. Esp since my friends have been so generous with me! That is, unless I somehow get pregnant again super duper fast and need to keep everything stored for my second baby. If that happens, I will most likely rip my hair out.

P.S. Does anyone have the Snoogle body pillow that I can try out for a few days before deciding to spend sixty bucks on it? I realize asking for a pillow is sort of a personal thing, much like me asking to borrow your maternity bra (which I'm also tempted to ask for) but I won't go there....

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I live with the food police

Friday night Dave and I went grocery shopping (seriously, we're livin the life) and I had to practically beg him to let me buy some ice cream. (Last time he didn't let me buy it and said "no ice cream for you!" so this time he was really nice about it.) I know he means well but sometimes it's hard for me not to take it personally

All day Friday I ate like crazy and stepped on the scale Saturday morning to see that the numbers went up. His reaction: "You gained a POUND over night?? Dude, that's a lot." (Insert sad face.)

I blame it on myself. I gave him full license at the beginning of this pregnancy to be a nazi with me since I obviously don't have any self control (I caved in and ate half a hot dog on Saturday. Eek!). Some Well girls have unofficially started a "Let Irene Eat" campaign as they feel that it's wrong for a husband to restrict a pregnant wife's diet. His response was pretty straightforward: I only need an extra 200-300 calories a day. Sigh. There's no arguing with him. (Little does he know I sneak in extra snacks during work. Booyah!)

Personally, I think he's scared that he'll gain weight with me. =P There are some guys out there who are more than happy to eat ramen with their preggers three times a day. Oh, but not Dave. He must maintain his physique. And therefore I must maintain mine. To some degree.

But my body is definitely changing. I'm starting to look less like a 13-year-old junior highschooler and gaining some womanly curves (these hips don't lie). But I don't want curves... I just want my boyish body back...

Although, I don't think Dave minds the curves all that much. Ha!